Caroline's Way

Okay, so it’s been a while since my last blahg. A loooong while, but then I am an admittedly reluctant blogger. And the truth of it is, I don’t read a lot of blogs and so I’m not sure who would want to read my blog, or if anyone does. I might say that I would read your blog if you read mine, and blah, blah, blah, but in truthfulness, the likelihood of that happening is next to nil. I would mean it, but, well, that’s where it would end. So, if you’re still reading after that tidbit of information, thank you!

Anyway, here I go again because, lately, I have discovered that I have a little inner geek trying to get out. It’s not something I really thought I had in me, but the more I examine her, the more I want to let her have her say and her way. Doing so could make April 7, 2013, an interesting day for me. Why, you ask? What is so special about April 7, 2013? Well, thanks for asking! I’m only too glad to tell you.

On April 7, 2013, Planet Comicon 2013 (http://planetcomicon.wordpress.com occurs in Kansas City, MO. I know, I know. Yes, this is the type of event where fans of Star Trek and other Sci-Fi genre shows dress up in costumes and buy, sell, or trade all sorts of collectible memorabilia. Having worked for a company that manufactures hockey and other sporting cards, I get the idea behind these shows, a little bit. But to me, it’s always been something that I look at and go, “So what? I liked Star Trek, but really?” I couldn’t imagine wanting to meet anyone enough to go and stand in line to pay for an autograph. But now that has changed, and my she-geek is ready to hop in the car and drive to Kansas City. Who is it that I could possibly whish to meet? Well, that will require me to go back to the mid 1970’s.

In 1975, my siblings and I would gather in our family room in Derby Place in St. John’s, Newfoundland and wait for the Six Million Dollar Man to start. In one episode they introduced a character named Jaime Sommers. Jaime, played by Lindsay Wagner, would become the first bionic woman, eventually taking the lead roll in the series aptly named, The Bionic Woman.

At 9 years old when the series premiered, I was hooked. I remember begging my mother to take me to Zellers where they sold 8×10 glossy photos of many of the television stars of the time. I had more than one Lindsay Wagner picture in my collection. I had the doll – sorry, action figure, as well, and I was an enthusiastic member of the Bionic Woman Fan Club. I remember spending countless hours outside pretending to be Jaime Sommers as I ran, jumped, and climbed over any obstacle in my way.

Then, this past Christmas, my sister bought me the first two seasons of The Bionic Woman on DVD and it all came flooding back. I couldn’t wait to start watching and have a few laughs at how everything is so dated, much like I had done with my Charlie’s Angels DVDs. However, I found something completely different.

I was drawn into the stories again, in spite of some very cheesy special effects and storylines; I was captured by the humour and genuineness in Lindsay Wagner’s portrayal of Jaime. I have a performing arts degree and a degree in film production. I know when I’m watching a talented actor, and I realized that Lindsay Wagner is very good. VERY good. I watched many of the episodes a second time and was wowed by the subtle nuances and layers in many of the moments captured on screen. I don’t know why this surprised me, Wagner did win an Emmy after all, but watching it again from adult eyes, was totally, well, eye-opening.

I got on IMDB and searched out Lindsay Wagner, I knew she had done a lot of work, some of which I had seen – The Paper Chase, Once In a Lifetime, and well over 40 other mini series and TV shows, but, there was a lot of which I had not. I was also pleasantly surprised to discover that she is still working, even though I haven’t seen much of what she’s done.

I searched YouTube to check out video clips. I’m not sure who picks her projects, and I’ll be honest, some of them are pretty bad, but her performance is always the stand out. I ordered a couple of movies in which Lindsay Wagner was cast, and enjoyed them even though they were ery dated, then I discovered her work on Warehouse 13.

Years ago, I did some extra work in the Toronto area. One show I worked on was Friday the 13th the TV Series. Warehouse 13 is a much better version of this show, in my humble opinion of course. Wagner is great in her recurring role and Dr. Vanessa Calder. It was nice to see she still has it. But that wasn’t all I discovered. For then I discovered that Lindsay Wagner was going to be appearing at Planet Comicon on April 7, 2013, and my inner geek squealed – yes, squealed – in delight. I said it.

I had vacation planned for the week before, but hadn’t decided on where I was going. Now I know where I could be going at the end of that week. I still haven’t totally given over to the geek, but the pull is strong. It’s a strange feeling for me. I don’t usually feel that way about celebrities. I feel that we reward celebrity in completely disproportionate amounts when compared to so many other noteworthy job/careers, and choices people make. But,I have the time booked off. I am also looking at hotels and driving times, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to go, after all, when else will I have to opportunity to stand in line and pay for an autograph from someone I adored as a child and now respect as a talented individual? My fear is that it won’t live up the ideal I have in my head. But, then again, it could be way better (that’s my geek shouting)!

Anyway, I can’t believe I have written this down for everyone to see, but I have, and really only because I don’t think anyone will read it! But it’s out there now, on the internet. Oh well, blah, blah, blah.

What about you? What makes your inner geek appear?

Welcome! I’m glad to have you visit! For my first foray into the blogging world, I considered trying to expound on a really deep subject with profound insight and mind bending intellectualism, but since I’m not sure I have either of those qualities, I figured a brief introduction to why I’m here would have to suffice.

I have written my first novel, and I’m excited to finally see it in print.  It’s been a long process, years in the making, but then so have I.

I have a very dear friend who is a prolific writer. I envy her ability to sit at the computer for an entire day and work constantly, remaining focused on the task at hand and turning out pages of prose. She will only break for fresh water and lunch, and maybe the occasional potty break. I do not have that ability. I am easily distracted. I take multiple snack breaks, which means I get thirsty and need multiple diet coke breaks that lead to multiple bathroom breaks. Then there is the motivational game of Spider Solitaire, Minesweeper, FreeCell or sometimes a rousing round of all three to get the creative juices going. Never mind that I have to find the right mood music first.

If I am waxing nostalgic, it may be the soothing tones of Nora Jones that I run through the media player. If it is a certain melancholy then out comes my favorite, Sarah McLachlan, and for a rockier edge there is always Sheryl Crow. If I need some spiritual encouragement, I may try Rita Springer, Ally Matthews, or Carolyn Arends depending on what I am needing in that moment.

I know some people, my friend included, prefer quiet to  organize their thoughts, but me, I like the words. I need the words. Sometimes they can take me to where I need to be in order to get to where I need to go. And once I get there, I hate to come out. That’s when I find that phone calls, or knocks on the door, or the obligations of a job and family make me irritated and short with people. I want to stay with my characters and follow them on the journey that, even though I am shaping it, is sometimes a surprise to me. Because I feel my creativity is more like dark, strong tasting molasses that flows slowly no matter what temperature than it is sweet golden and easily flowing maple syrup, I need the time to mull and stew over plot points and dialogue, and character choices before I put pen to paper. And for most of this journey, I did use a pen, preferring to edit as the information was typed into the computer and needing the ability to flip back and see where the characters had been and where they were in the moment. With a few flips of a page, I could find the reference I needed to make sure I connected to one in the next chapter. Unlike my friend, I am unable to just dump my ideas onto the page and go back and weed through, or refine them later. I needed to have a firm grasp on the details right away and see them spread out before me.

But that has changed out of necessity and I have trained myself to compose at the computer, even if that means sitting and staring at the flashing cursor for twenty minutes before writing a single sentence. I’ve also had to retrain my brain to find my creative mode during daylight hours. Before working the nine to five gig I have now, I found that I had my best ideas arrived between 11:oopm and 3:00am, but then I also had a job that allowed me to make use of that time.

I also lacked direction for what I wanted to do with the story I was working on. I believed in the story, felt passionately about it from the first genesis of the idea years ago, but didn’t know if anyone else would. Sure I had handed out the first fifty pages to a lot of friends and they all said the same thing: “When can I get more?” But it wasn’t until I went to a writer’s conference in Guelph, Ontario, the Write! Canada conference, and participated in a fiction intensive that I began to find my way. I made a friend in that class and found in her a mentor who would read the stuff I wrote, and whose insight proved very valuable in helping me see story details from a different point of view. She fed me when I went out to visit her and work on the book, and she then read every word faithfully.

Then when I had more written, almost two books worth, I went to the conference again. This time I made an appointment to get some critique and feedback. That’s where I met the person who would eventually publish my book. Through the course of our professional relationship, the story went through more revision, which took more time, but he waited the years patiently, until now we will finally we arrive at December 1, 2011 when the book will be released officially.

That’s why I’m blogging. My publisher, Greenbrier Books, insists I have a web presence, and I see his point, so I do this, and I Twitter, sort of. Eventually I’m sure I will thank him, as I am thankful for his choice to publish an unknown writer, and I am thankful for his patience and his belief in me from his first read of my sample pages. Thanks, Ron and Janet.

So I will continue to blog, or as I like to call it blahg, because to me I’ve just blah, blah, blahed this down. Or blahged. I can’t promise it will be weekly, or monthly, but the next time I feel the need to blah, I will do so here on my blog. Eventually I will get the hang of it I’m sure.